While I don’t want to get into a debate about the virtues of either being a stay at home mom vs. a working mom, I do find myself in a dilema.

I was a stay at home mom for 13 years beginning when my first child was around 18 months old. I didn’t originally choose to be a stay at home mom. I chose to continue working. Little did I know that being a working mom would equate to tremendous stress and guilt for me. I still remember crying and asking my husband if he would mind if I quit my job to stay home with our son. Asking, because it meant a loss of income that he would have to make up, which meant more stress for him.

Well, it’s years later now and that first child is racing toward 17 and I am still straddling that line between the stay at home mom and the working mom.

I went back to work part time over 2 years ago and it’s been working really well for our family. I have a boss who works seamlessly with me to accommodate my needs as a mother vs. his needs for an employee. But it’s mornings like this one that leave me wondering if all the effort is worth it.

My middle child was home sick all last week. He’s off to school this morning, but I did have to stay home with him last week which meant a tangible hole at my office. I met with my boss and promised to be in this morning to begin catching up on things that just can’t wait any longer.

Of course, my youngest son is now ill with the same virus. He has to stay home today and who knows how much longer this week. And to top it all off, these damn germs have nestled into me as well. My throat is sore and I’d love to go back to bed but…

I promised to keep spinning the plates while “Sabor Dance” plays frantically in the background. I just hope that none of them fall and break.

The bottom line – stay at home moms vs. working moms – both jobs are hard, both jobs are rewarding, and both jobs are mine.